hanki.dev

honesty = intimacy

How to do I stay in touch with the people close to me?

To stay always is touch with the other, prioritize staying always in touch with the self.

The idea that in order to stay in connection with other people, we have to be in brutally honest connection with ourselves is absolutely true, when it comes to maintaining intimacy. Because to stay in true connection with the other, we have to be able to share what's true and alive for us with them. And we cannot do that if we are not in touch with ourselves, our own thoughts, our own feelings, our own beliefs. The only way to stay in that connection is to stay perpetually connected to self.

Intimacy cannot exist where self-abandonment is occurring.

We have to be willing to share what's true for us. Risk rejection, risk abandonment, risk conflict.

From How People-Pleasing Kills Intimacy (And Honest Conflict Builds It) by Heidi Priebe


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