you're not the only weirdo

Some time ago someone on r/autism asked how to find like-minded people. There was one comment which kinda inspired me, so I'm archiving it here:


I met most of my friends because I spotted them doing “weird” things. Like lying on the sidewalk at night.

I was walking, spotted a person on the ground in the middle of the city, went up to check if they’re alive. I asked “Hey, are you okay?”.

Dude said “Yeah, I’m great”.

So I asked “Why are you lying on the sidewalk?”.

“I’m stargazing” he said.

I looked up and the sky was looking like it usually does - you can see stars, but not really well, it’s still the middle of a city. You know, light pollution and stuff.

He said “Look over there” and pointed his finger at the sky “Venus is shining really bright tonight. It’s cool”. And yeah, indeed, Venus was shining really bright. I asked if I can join him. He agreed so I lied down on the sidewalk next to him. I reached to my backpack, where I had a few lollipops (I always have a few lollipops or other candy with me) and we shared. We were lying there, on a sidewalk by a shopping mall in the middle of the city, looking at stars, talking about things and sucking on lollipops.

Another friend, well, I was going back home from train station, it was also night already, like 2AM. I was just walking past him, as he was standing in front of apartment building and smoking a cigarette.

He said “Hey”. I said “Hey”.

“Do you wanna know something about fungi?”

“What kind of fungi? Like champignons, vaginal yeast or the kind that causes feet infections?”

“All of them! I’ve spent the whole day studying fungi!”

“Ah yeah sure, tell me about it”

We started talking about all kinds of fungi. Stood there for an hour, and then he asked “Do you wanna come to mine? I have a bottle of wine”.

“Sure” I said.

As he was unlocking the door, he looked at me and asked “Are you a serial killer?”

“Not serial”, I joked.

“You were supposed to say no, but that makes two of us”.

We went to his apartment and until 5am we were drinking wine, infodumping at each other, lurking wikipedia and dramatically reading poetry out loud to each other.

Meeting a few friends like that made me realize that I’m not the only weirdo out there, and the only way to find good friends is to… really just be yourself. Most people will hate you or won’t care about you, but people like you will spot you in the wild.

So I started being more confident and unapologetically myself, approaching people and sharing funfacts. The success rate is still pretty low, but my friends are of the best quality, making me feel comfortable and safe, and I do the same for them.